Thursday, 22 August 2013

22 August Epic Dump

"I'm telling you I don't know how she does it

"I'm telling you I don't know how she does it. It's some kind of conjuring trick. She's even let me skip rent for a month. Always she's got lots of money to spend. Nothing is beyond her except silliness. It's like she goes out at night and comes back with dollar bills in her hand, that's almost what it's like. She even said I could quit working, yes she said that. I wish I knew her secret. Once I asked her about it and she just laughed and touched me under the chin. She's my best friend. She's simply marvellous."

 

***

 

Wouldn't you know it. David and Linda and me were sitting in a cafe talking about the old days when I glanced out the window and say [XXX] and XXX walking past. Hadn't seen them in ages. Then they see me, they come in, and I don't know their names.

[XXX] says, "Hi, John!"

"Hi." (Maybe they'll mention their names if I introduce them.) "This is David and Linda."

[XXX] says, "Hi, I'm Brent."

XXX says, merely, "Hello."

Conversation goes on for some time. Then they leave.

David says, "Who were they?"

I say, "I really wish I really knew."

 

***

 

The Blob

 

Today I poured a third of a teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide into my left ear, desperate to clear it before going to Bala Saturday.

The peroxide bubbled away as I read a book.

I went to the shower and blasted water into my ear.

Then—oh miracle!—a huge blob came out!

I grabbed it before it ran down the drain.

It was black with some ochre streaks mixed in.

"Mary, look! It's out!"

I showed it to her.

"It was probably in there for ten years."

She said, "Oh."

I popped it in my mouth.

Mary puked.

 

***

 

This idiotic fool walked to the streetcar

The kingly 504

Noting the birds and the children

Singing a song with bundle on stick over shoulder

Took an offered transfer though it wasn't necessary

Being polite right

The streetcar diverted at Parliament

And this idiotic fool thought naught of it

Having a metropass in bundle

But

At the Queen Street station, disembarking, recalled there was no metropass in bundle

So needed the transfer after all

But where had it gone?

Pocket?

Other pocket?

Bundle!

Opened the sweating bundle

Riffed through trembling objects

And found it there finally

This idiot and fool.

 

***

 

The Lake, Mostly. August 10 to August 17

 

This is the month of August.

We are going there once again.

We will be off soon.

It'll be quiet, eventually.

But first, for two nights, we will have guests.

Friends of ours.

What will happen?

Who knows?

I am writing this on my new Kindle Fire.

I am using simple ideas now.

I don't want to break it just yet.

It cannot give me a word count, so I am just going to guess.

I'm probably at about sixty-five words now.

(I really don't want to break this thing.)

There will be canoes and swimming involved.

Seven nights altogether.

Maybe that's enough talking for now.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

 

Today went by internally, with much less happening on the outside.

Made breakfast, watched the dog run around freely for possibly the first time in his life, drove into town for milk and yogurt, jumped off the big rock for the first time in three years, made David build a quality fire, played a game on this here machine, started folding another lionfish, ate salmon and mussels and vanilla ice cream smothered with liqueur, listened to David and Mary sing, cleaned David's clock at poker, all the while drinking Coors Light.

As I said, everything that was important happened internally.

 

Hoo-boy, now I've done it.

I was out somewhere with John Wakaluk--was that the cause of it all?

I had all sorts of assignments to do, including one I'd been neglecting for months. I've been neglecting it for years, too. I've been hoping the teacher had forgotten it, but I've evidence she hasn't this evening.

And now, on top of that, I mentioned tamarinds to my father--only because I didn't know what they cured--and I rented a videotape that had something to do with tamarinds.

Then, this evening, at about three, the doorbell rang. I went out of my room to look--it was my father at the door.

Some time later, my brother and my mother came to my door. My  brother made to hit me.

'You asshole. Why'd you do it?'

My mother said, 'That movie you rented. It's about cholera. You know how sensitive you father is about public health issues.'

I hadn't known. So now, for years, my father in my dreams will be mad at me for some stupid video!

And I still have that assignment to deal with!

 

The Rolling Thunder Review of 1974 I believe was when Bob Dylan performed the version of Isis that appears on the collection called Anthology. At the beginning of it, he says, 'This is for Leonard, if he's still here.'

This is an arcane gag. You see, Leonard is actually one Leonard Finkelmeister, one of Dylan's friends from his younger pre-fame days. Isis was written by Finkelmeister, and Dylan stole it. When Finkelmeister found out about this theft, he threatened to sue. So Dylan hired Peter, Paul and Mary to kill Finkelmeister. His corpse is in the Hudson river to this day.

Dylan made this into a joke. Heartless prick.

 

You're asking me about Franz Schubert? Well, let me tell you.

It's deep stuff all around. I'd have to learn German to completely get to the bottom of it.

And even that wouldn't be enough. I'd have to build a time machine, at great expense, to get back to Vienna a couple years before 1828. I could see all the influences--the milieu, if you please--that made him first choose his verses (I'd comb the bookstalls) and then I would have to learn the music theory he'd studied in order to fully appreciate how he organised it all.

But hell, why not go all the way? Since I'm already building a time machine, I might as well build a replicator. I'll create a Schubert from nothing, then inject my soul into his. But--then I'll be nowhere, won't I? So I won't learn anything.

I guess I'll never get to the bottom of anything.

 

It's the big sky one sees here. The sky is big in the city, too, but it's invisible, right? Similarly, the moon, the stars. The moon sets an hour and eight minutes earlier day in, day out. It's something easy to forget. And you pay more attention to food, too. The feeling of water rippling over one's body, the sheer solidity of the stuff. The long trains carrying things to places you've never heard of. Foxes and herons and geese and ducks and chipmunks. How cool it is at 7:30 in the morning. Voices not far off, clearly heard. Other people's lives, how they do things differently. The strangeness of autoreplace....

 

The town, whatever its population, lives through the winter and makes all their money during the summer months. They are rough-skinned, big bicepped, thick legged, and the men are worse. They have one main road running straight through plus four or five residential streets. One of them is now a museum of the town, and Lucy Maud Montgomery. We've never been in it, not knowing anything about the woman. (At least not me.) There's a side-road—the original road, from before the highway—off to the east. Quaint little shops there. There's not much else to it. It changes very slowly.

 

My own computer. So, 100 words.

At the Brass Tap, I said, "You wanted to compare distance seeing. And you were doing that seek puzzle. So let me ask you: did you see the naked woman yesterday?"

"Where was she?"

"She was in plain sight. Did you see her?"

"Nope. Where was she?"

I made canoeing gestures. "You remember up on the shore, house set a bit back, The woman who yelled, 'Hello, ladies'?"

"Yeah."

"The woman who was lying down was naked."

"Really? On her back or her front?"

"Front."

"I didn't see her."

"It was something worth seeing."

 

***

 

Ses'na

 

Airplanes that are as quick as my verse commit high overhead their great and greater flights,

While these flights of airplanes (so great, so quick) commit my earthbound verse

To the universe and verse of their own flights; O you please, commit such airplanes (so quick, so great)

To my great verse concerning the quick flights of these my many selfsame airplanes; commit,

As only you can commit, these great airplanes to my verse concerning flights so quick

That quick, O you please, you commit some flights or great or greater to my universe and verse, O you airplanes!

 

***

 

Don't we all want a cleaner planet? Don't we all want to pitch in? Maybe even send a message, or raise awareness? Take a look around. Take a look at your computers, your personal digital assistants, and your smartphones. I bet you've got it on sleep, ready for awareness at the touch of a button.

But did you know that if we Canadians changed their habits just a little; if we'd only chose to shut off our devices rather than let them sleep; we'd save enough energy to power an entire North Korean prison camp for over four thousand years?

 

***

 

Models

 

Boy meets girl. He courts her. They get married.

Boy meets girl. He courts her. She marries someone else.

Boy meets girl. He hates her. She marries someone else.

Boy meets girl. He hates her. They get married anyway.

Boy meets girt. He courts her. They get married anyway.

Boy meets girl. He courts her. She dies suddenly.

Boy meets girl. She's his sister. She dies suddenly.

Boy meets girl. She's his sister. They get married.

Boy meets girl. She's a gold-digger. They get married.

Boy meets girl. She's a gold-digger. He kills her.

Boy meets girl. The end.

 

***

 

Though I'm not sure, and I'll never be sure, just how deep into the desert I was, I drove that prime sports car with just a thousand clicks on it as fast as possible. There wasn't an obstacle for a thousand miles—or so I thought—to get in the way of my escape from nothingness to nothingness. Just me and the car, that was all there was. It was as if I was catching up to something that I had mistaken for the sun or the curvature of the earth or the earth itself. Just me and the moon.

 

***

 

Now when we were off in Cape Breton I had a scheme to write a story using sixteen stories I'd already written. Here's the dates.

18 February 2006

6 August 2006

23 January 2007

12 July 2007

28 December 2007

15 June 2008

2 December 2008

21 May 2009

6 November 2009

25 April 2010

12 October 2010

30 March 2011

16 September 2011

4 March 2012

20 August 2012

6 February 2013

But you know I just couldn't get the contraption off the ground. (Something wrong re time and memory.) I ended up doing something else.

Reader, you try.

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