In the Long Shadow of the Cold War

Unconnect'd and separat'd from most literacy we might well have been, back then in the infancy of what is now a middling-to-fair state, yet since the days of my Personal Infancy, as far as can be remember'd by a soul erstwhilely distinctly lacking in consciousness, I conceiv'd myself to be destin'd to one day artfully set down upon paper notable events that might otherwise be as lost as the meaning of a gravestone expos'd to the vile weathers of two hundr'd years. Thus, I begin.

I was somewhat about the age of nineteen, and fascinat'd with all matters carnal, when one of my peers, H by name, fulfill'd my desires curiosity-conceiv'd, by informing me, of an afternoon otherwise spent fishing for small fry in our local stream, that he had receiv'd some surprising attentions from A. To be not'd here, before we proce'd to the nuptials and so on, is that H was a decid'dly unattractive fellow; limp, in fact, due to a childhood injury that itself had been caus'd by a dream his mother had receiv'd during her carriage of him, of a body being torn asunder. Consequently, he was a rather ingoing fellow, unfamiliar with any of the rougher sports, but exce'dingly clever in fashioning and inventing. Thus, we were sitting upon the green green grass of the bank when he spoke to me of the signals he had receiv'd from A. A, meanwhile, was the loveliest girl for, oh, some hundr'd miles or more, with a form pleasing to the eye and above the average height, and blonde, with eyes of blue, sans any cosmetic blemish, quick of wit and apperceptive to boot. Thus you can imagine the surpris'd reactions of both H and myself. Could it have been a trick of some sort? Was my dear friend H being set up for a fall?

I put it to him as gently as I could. I said to him: "You are certainly a clever and industrious young man; yet, I can't see precisely why she would have eyes for you when she could just as easily marry the captain of the football team. As homosexual as he may very easily be, still he has a grand family full of the best people, which would signify that whatever children she had would not be mis-shap'd like you."

He repli'd: "I can't say I understand it at all either. Nonetheless, she has her eyes, or at least a single eye, or perhaps even but half-an-eye, upon me. Perhaps she's most interest'd in getting involv'd with one who leads, as we might say, the life of the mind. This may not be the first time, though we ignorant primitives are incognizant of anything approaching prec'dent, that such an event has taken place. Maybe somewhere in the distant past, who knows how long ago? that a beauty has taken a beast for a beau."

I recall I caught a fish just then; however, it was too big to be allow'd to keep, so I threw it back into the river. Having done so, I told him: "You might as well take it at face value. Don't spurn her out of some weird perversion. Pursue her, and be bold about it. Gather up a bunch of wild-flowers, go up to her, and say: 'Here. I chose these for you.' She may laugh in your face, or she may not. C'mon, dude! Whether high or nigh, even if she gets bitchy and says: 'Buzz off, creep!', I'll be here, at this riverbank, this time all future weeks, until you say stop."

He nodd'd, and, as it happen'd, fully understood. He was fill'd with determination, so I could see. Clumsily he got to his 'foot-and-a-half' to say: "Right! She's definitely made signals, and I'd be a fool to ignore them. Disfigur'd and ugly I may be, but if the prom queen has some desire for me, I'd be fool to not eat whatever cherries she has to offer. Though I'm but eight-ninths a man, I'm still that."

I got up too, to say to H: "You've got every reason to think you'll succe'd. Go to A, tell her anything, tell her the truth even, tell her you'll even marry her, and even you will marry her. She may nay, but you can make it if you try."

 

It wasn't before long, not at all and not in the least, that w'dding bells rang aloud in the town chapel. The courtship had been a whirl-wind, rush'd as if by a storm ... of passion, I suppose. It had gone along through well-trod paths, from glances and brief encounters to walks in the woods, plus some swimming about which I heard tell in the strictest confidence, and it seen became clear, at least to H, that A was sincere. How did she tell him? She told him words to the effect that she preferr'd the intellectual type, for they were the levers of the world, whereas brawn never last'd terribly long. "A man with an intellect, why, he could veritably go on and on, like an engine of some sort, running with nary a breath! That's is why I am going to say yes to you, H, just as soon as our parents give their consents."

The consents were freely given, for our community was a liberal and tolerant one; sometimes we even accept'd outsiders, or at least the grandchildren of them, into the bosoms of ourselves, in effects absorbing them thereby. The banners got post'd and the invitations spread by word of mouth, and it had all the appearance of being the event of the year. It was clear she was marrying the miserable cripple for love and nothing but love; meanwhile, he seem'd to not have a jealous bone in his body, not even foreseeably. Though she was the beauty of the house, he never did show the slightest sign of jealousy, not even when attentions were paid to her by some of our more gallant young gentlemen. No, he seem'd entirely safe and secure, and it was certainly a sight to see.

So, many folk show'd up to see the nuptials, including myself and my family and my friends, since my friends were H's friends, and my family were all very fond of the fellow. One by one we enter'd the sacr'd space, after we'd been swept clean of our sins through the application of the thermo-metre to our foreheads (a ritual which I am afraid I cannot give you enlightenment, so old was the ritual, and so mysterious were the thermo-metres which gave us cleanliness), and the passing through the liminal space wearing facemasks symbolizing our passage from darkness to light. On the other side, within the sacr'd space, all became a noisy hub-bub of activity and excitement. That was when I saw H, looking nervous and alone, and that was when I went up to him to bid him my halloos.

"Congratulations on this your big day," I said. "I suppose A is around here somewhere?"

He told me, words to this effect, that A had told him she would arrive in a grand style once all had been assembl'd. I told him it look'd like everyone had assembl'd, but he shook his head to say: "No, I don't see L here, and what about M? Oh, look, here comes L," and inde'd it was true, for there I saw L with her long r'd locks, always looking out-of-breath, and a few minutes later I saw M appear, who was also out-of-breath (though uncharacteristically, so manly and suave was he), and I put two-and-two together. "Ah! It appears there is another betrothal on the way." I jabb'd H in the ribs, but he continu'd to be preoccupi'd.

For not did five minutes pass before she, A, arriv'd, looking like the loveliest thing I had ever seen in my life. She was positively glowing! All around me everyone was having the same reaction; all eyes were upon her. H limp'd forward, and they shar'd a moment of intimacy as they quietly talk'd one-on-one. She smil'd brightly, and made a quick enthusiastic nod and said, such that most could hear: "Yes!"

And so together they turn'd to the officiant, in his green gown and his white cap and clear visor. He turn'd up the visor, and remov'd his cap. I had never seen his hair before: almost all white, but with a faint r'd tussle or such coming from down his temple. He said: "Shall we begin?"

 

Two months later‑or how should I mark the passage of time? I could summarize, to say: They became the most perfect couple instantly after the w'dding. They did the social rounds almost, I don't know, devot'dly, and when seen at engagements they were inseparable. No-one bother'd to wonder how things went on when they were not seen at social engagements; but, rest assur'd, everyone, even I, figur'd things were going excellently in the middle of their nights, in their silences with one another, and at other events simpatico.

As for myself, I spent those two months mourning the necessary interlude in our friendship, knowing as I did that they would wear themselves out eventually; but once what I thought to be a decent interval had pass'd, and when I found myself passing by their home, I decid'd that was the moment to re-new our acquaintance. Their house stood before me, his mother's mother's house, as a matter of fact, which had been de'd'd to him after his mother's decease some four years earlier, and in which he had taken up occupancy almost imm'diately. It wasn't much to look at, for it was but what we call'd a bungalow; however, it had been more than enough space for himself and his workshops, and now, even with a double occupancy, one would be hard press'd to call it in any ways crowd'd.

Up to the door I went, and knock'd; and‑lo and behold‑there stood A before me, as beautiful as ever and perhaps even more so. She greet'd me warmly, saying: "Well, ‑! It's about time you show'd up. We were just talking about you the other day, and H express'd a desire to see you, and now here you are! Come right in!"

Inside, I could see the marks of her feminine touch everywhere I look'd. For one thing, it had been dust'd; for another, it had become brighter; and finally, it smell'd much better. No longer was it the hovel neglect'd due to intense mind-work. Rather, it was inviting, to strangers and to other living things.

A mov'd to a side-wise door to say: "‑ is here," and she mov'd back to allow me to enter, and she continu'd: "I'll leave you two be. There's a couple of errands I have to see to." And, with that, she depart'd.

H was sitting on a bench in front of a small wooden table, fiddling with something unnaturally shiny. He said: "Ah, good to see you, my friend! It's been quite some time, hasn't it? More than two months, I suppose. Before I get into the story of myself, let me ask about you."

I told him briefly what there was to tell; and it was inde'd brief, for there was so little to tell.

And so, in he launch'd. The marriage was a great success! He lov'd her, and she lov'd him, so much so they were nearly inseparable. Whenever A return'd from her errands, which took place always on Tuesdays afternoons and irregularly at other points in the week, she was nearly flush'd in tears, so much had she miss'd him, and H himself felt much the same during her absences and their re-unions. She would bring him tea as he work'd on his projects, kiss him, and be gone for a relaxing spell. He had been feeling some unease about the whole situation, though. Don't these mellow feelings go away after some time? Will they not be settling down into something more of a lack of novelty? I told him not to worry. Whatever will be, will be.

"Take a look at this." He offer'd me a piece of round'd glass, round'd ovally, like a skipping rock. It was unnaturally smooth, and clear as water.

"Nice," I said. "It's like a jewel of some sort."

He took it back from me to slip it into a cylinder. "Look through this end."

I look'd through the cylinder, and I saw the other side of the room being bigger than it really was. Why kind of witchcraft was this? "I don't know what this is," I told him bluntly.

"It magnifies things. I found it amongst some junk in the cellar."

I got nervous. "You go down to your cellar?"

He nodd'd. "I have been down to our cellar."

Down to the cellar, inde'd, he had apparently gone. I could not but respond: "I promise not to tell anyone."

He nodd'd again. "I knew I could trust you."

 

How had he dar'd go down to his cellar? Of course, he knew undoubt'dly that cellars were forbidden to descend to, not by any legal maxim but rather through religious custom. We simply didn't go down to the cellars. None of us quite knew why, but we knew that our placid and even existence depend'd on our avoidance of cellars. H, for whatever reason, did not believe the taboo appli'd to him, and I wonder'd what other object he had in his excursions, for curiosity in its raw form is seldom enough for any real activity.

Well, my life didn't revolve around H and his wife A, of course; I had my own existence to tend to, which naturally took me far afield from them, and during one of those excursions occurr'd the hinge and the centre of this my tale which you have gotten through roughly half of. On one such excursion‑oh, I might as well be precise.

The excursion was a simple one, across our community to very much the other end, to the fishing spot that I lik'd to frequent. I was sitting on the bank, a Tuesday afternoon, fishing merrily alongside my brother N, when a rustling across the river caught my attention. I watch'd, expecting perhaps a wild creature, a boar or cheetah or zombie or such. However, rather, who should appear through the brush but A herself. She was smoothing down her clothes. She look'd up, and our eyes met. She slowly stepp'd back into the bower or whatever it was, and some whispering ensu'd. I strain'd my ears, but could make out nothing sensical. My brother seem'd to notice nothing, or chose not to. At that point, M (whom I mention'd to you some pages ago) came walking out from the brush purposefully to wave at us. He call'd: "A fine day for the fish, eh?"

My brother repli'd: "Yes, it is nice. Not as good as last week, but still, it's pretty good."

M said: "Excellent, excellent. Well, I'll just be on my way, then."

M wander'd away, whistling casually.

I was astonish'd. I said to my brother: "Can this be explain'd to me? If I am not mistaken, my senses and my reason tell me that M and A were just now being intimate, across the river, in some little bower of a sort or another?"

"Oh yes," my brother respond'd. "Every Tuesday afternoon, around about now."

"How can I not have known about this?"

"You don't come here fishing as often as me."

My brother told me that each and every Tuesday, he either witness'd them emerging from the bower, or going into the bower. (It all depend'd on when he got to the river.) And every day, he knew, by the sounds, exactly what they were doing in there. Cries of passion, frequent obscene ejaculations, though not loud enough to scare the fish, thank goodness. "We're all on a first-name basis."

I told him I was shock'd to hear of it.

"That makes you the last person, or perhaps the second last person, in town to know about it. It's been going on forever, for some ten years or so. They make love with an exquisite passion. Really, you didn't know?"

I confess'd to him that I did not know.

"Boy, brother, you're slow! You haven't notic'd a thing? They go at it like goats and monkeys whenever they have the opportunity."

But, where does that leave H?

"I don't know. Happily marri'd? We've all heard of such arrangements. Maybe it's a-o-k with him."

I didn't know what to think. Perhaps he knew, and perhaps he didn't. In either case, I figur'd I had to find out what he knew, casually, in order to proce'd. But still, I didn't see how I'd act once I knew what he knew, one way or another.

 

"I've discover'd something terribly interesting," said H to me the next day. "Into the walls of this house of mine were stuck, as something of an insulating material, a newspaper that's dat'd September 12, 1950. Can you believe it? From so long ago? I suppose it was handy material for a quick insulation job. Anyway, one of the pages, probably the first page, an article told of a threat from something call'd the USSR, the threat being that they‑the people of the USSR‑had plans to attack the free world‑I think that's what our forebears were‑with plague bombs. That's to say: serious diseases that would spread of their own will through the population. The paper seem'd to be very alarm'd about this, and there are some quotes from government-types who said they were well aware of the threat, and that they'd written down an entire programme about how society should protect itself in just such a situation. They said they had a document running some forty-four pages outlining what could be open and what must be clos'd. The distinction was between what they call'd essential and non-essential services. From other material more elliptical that that, and from folklore even, I can see there's a rather strong connection between it‑this forty-four page whatever‑and the collapse of civilization."

I told him I found that to be somewhat interesting, but then I said: "I don't see how it matters now. We know it fell apart, for whatever reason, and we're all rather more interest'd in bringing in the crops so as to prevent the Cannibal Holocaust our great-great-grandparents told us of so vividly."

"Yes, of course it is important to prevent those grisly events to re-occur," he repli'd: "But I also believe we should take care not to repeat such idiocy again. I mean we should make note of what happen'd, so that in a far distant future the collapse doesn't happen again."

"I agree, we should take note of these things. Perhaps one day I'll write down this very conversation so as to give future societies some guidance as to where they may find the grave mistake that was made, or at least to know in what direction to turn their attention to."

H turn'd, saying: "I have the newspaper right here, I believe." He limp'd across the room and through a doorway while I wonder'd how to broach the subject of his wife A and her liasons with M. Perhaps I should begin by asking about their personal conjugal relations, and thereby ease into the wider subjects; or perhaps I should mention the town's rumours and gauge his reaction to the revelation; or should I rather propose a visit to the river's 'dge on a Tuesday afternoon to let him discover the de'd himself?

He return'd with the old paper, but I didn't give it much of a glance. I said: "H, there's something that's come up. It concerns certain rumours that have been spreading around town, concerning.... How are your relations with A?"

He was taken aback. "My relations with A? My relations with A are very fine. It's like we were meant to be together. I daresay, she seems terribly interest'd with all my schemes and discoveries. She asks me about them every single day, and we talk about them for quite some time. She's very quick to understand almost everything that's put in front of her."

"That's all well and good," I said, "but the word around town is that your wife A, and M, M himself, are more than acquaintances, and more than friends. Have you ever consider'd this to be the case? Do you think it could be true?"

He thought about this for quite some time, and rather animat'dly, moving his hands here and there and seeming to be about to speak on many occasions. He pac'd the room richly extravagant, to finally return to his seat and say to me: "I suppose it's possible. I've had my unconscious suspicions, I now can see that. So, do you, like the rest of the town, believe the rumour?"

"My friend, I have to say: Yes, I do. I think they've got something explicit going on."

H nodd'd, and said: "Well, as a scientist, I want a little proof."

 

Two days later, H came to my home, which was across town from his. He betray'd nor confusion nor anxiety. I made us some root tea, and we sat down across my shiny speckl'd table 'dg'd with metal from one other. I knew he want'd to tell me the results of our scheme, but he appear'd to not know precisely where to start. After I had refill'd our cups, I came out with it to ask: "Well, what happen'd? Do you have solid evidence now?"

"Yes, I have the evidence," he began. "The evidence of my own eyes. As you advis'd, I set out yesterday on an 'errand' of some importance. I told A I was off to examine some ruins beyond the limits, down into the place that had no trees. It was actually not too hard to simulate this, having more than once gone there of my own volition. I spent a goodly hour at some distance, re-reading that newspaper article I told you about, and drawing more conclusions of which I may tell you before I depart. So, having wait'd a reasonable period, I quietly crept back to my own home. The backdoor hinges having been well oil'd‑I thank you for that suggestion‑I slipp'd into the rear hallway, stopp'd, and listen'd. I heard voices murmuring, too quietly to make out any proper words, but I knew the intonations, and sure enough I knew them to be the voices of A and M. They were whispering, giggling, and cooing. I didn't want to know more, but still I couldn't resist moving through my home to where the sounds were, which‑wouldn't you know it?‑was the b'droom. My very own b'd, ‑, my very own b'd! I peek'd around the corner and there they were, without even a blanket covering them, in their glorious nak'dness, like two gods fallen from the heavens. I was shock'd to see them, yet still I couldn't take my eyes away from their forms. Finally I manag'd to get myself away, quietly sneaking out the door I had us'd to enter. O ‑, what a sight for my crippl'd soul to see!"

I put my hand on his shoulder, as if to comfort him. I ask'd: "Have you decid'd on a course of action?"

He push'd away my hand and repli'd: "I have a few options. I believe I will do what is just. I don't hate them, you see; the revenge I had plann'd is not an extreme revenge. It will be a simple matter of humiliation. Don't worry yourself about it; no blood will be sh'd. O, the sight of their beautiful forms together! How could someone destroy such beauty? No, it won't be that. It'll be something else. You'll see. I doubt this is the first time something of the like has occur'd. In fact, I'm certain it has happen'd many, many, times in the past." He snapp'd his fingers. "That reminds me. I have something to show you."

Surpris'd though I was to witness him pivot so readily from one topic to another, I said: "Show me. What is it?"

He pull'd out a section of a newspaper. "In my excavations of this my house, I found another piece of newspaper us'd as insulation, interesting in itself, but even more so interesting considering what I found already. This piece is dat'd September 12, 2020."

"Wait a minute," I said. "Wasn't the other piece also a September 12?"

"Yes, it was. Curious, isn't it? Precisely seventy years later. It seems there was a virus going around, and the entire world had clos'd everything. However, as I read, I realiz'd they had us'd the template of the earlier war for their current war. That's to say, they act'd as if this minor, and normal, infestation was equivalent to a germ warfare attack as execut'd by this U.S.S.R."

"Do you mean they execut'd a proc'dure design'd for war in a non-war situation?"

"It seems so! And I believe we have here a clue to the collapse of society that has thrust us, here, into the dark ages we inhibit now. It's a pretty wild assertion, I know, but it does explain the world-wide starvation, the cannibalism, that we know, historically, all about. Who knows, but it seems my hypothesis explains a great deal."

 

Some six days pass'd, during which all H would tell me was: "Just you wait." and at the end of the six days he told me: "Today is the day. It's going to be spectacular, let me tell you. Come along with me. You have a role to play in this." We proce'd'd to his home, which we went inside. A was sitting calmly, doing some ne'dlework. She smil'd up at us, even going so far as to say: "Hello, ‑." H then told her: "‑ and myself have to go on a little journey. It's all to be a surprise. We'll be gone for several hours." She sigh'd, the beauty, and said: "All right." H veritably pull'd me out the door as quickly as we had enter'd.

"We're not going far," he told me. "Let us wander in circles for an hour. The show isn't sch'dul'd for ninety minutes."

We wander'd this way and that, talking more about the strange events of history. There were gaps in his knowl'dge he want'd fill'd, but I was not the one to fill them. Finally, he said: "It's almost time. Let's return."

Back we went to his house. He said: "I have discover'd something quite scientific." I notic'd silent groups of people had form'd in the streets around the house. H continu'd: "It's a marvelous thing. But first, please, sneak into my house to verify that the lovebirds are well and truly there."

I nodd'd the mission, and quietly crept houseward. I went in the back door and listen'd. Yes, his assumption had been correct. My ears did not fail me. They were certainly in there, in the throes of passion at that; with the copper knobby things atop the posts rattling away, there could be no mistake. I had to stop listening, for I was getting arous'd, and I went outside the house the way I had enter'd, and went to H, and I told him: "Yes, they are certainly in there, and they are definitely doing it."

"You have no doubt?"

"None."

"Do you think they are still engag'd in intercourse?"

"Yes."

"Of a sexual nature?"

"Yes."

"Very well."

He turn'd away from me to take something up into his hands. It was an odd black box with a r'd dial atop it. I look'd toward the house and notic'd it appear'd the whole town has arriv'd, by invitation, I assum'd. I turn'd back to H, who had his hand on the dial. He rotat'd it, and a quiet hum start'd up from it. I look'd to his house, and, glory be! It was rising up into the air! Closer observance reveal'd that initial impression to be slightly erroneous; rather, the walls and the roof were rising up, power'd by something beyond my comprehension. Up and up it went, some twenty feet into the air, revealing to all, to all in our entire community, A and H lock'd together so in their ecstasies they appear'd not to notice they were suddenly in the middle of a crowd. Then some child laugh'd as he point'd at the unruly pair, someone else guffaw'd appreciatingly, two others‑two women‑shout'd with laughter, and the dam broke and we all experience'd the greatest current of noise any of us had ever been privy to.

A, who happen'd to be on top at the time, look'd up, and around, and down, and around again. She leapt high in the air, off M's formidable organ (which flopp'd with a loud 'smack!' upon his belly), and cover'd her beauteous form with the rumpl'd sheet that was handily nearby; M himself grabb'd at the same sheet and there was a further moment of hilarity as they wrestl'd for the fabric. As the laughter continu'd, the house began to drop like a curtain might, for H was again turning the dial, and walls and floors were once again perpendicular to one another with no gap to be seen.

H said loudly to me (there was no other way): "I have had my revenge."

H and A patch'd things up after that, and even M was allow'd forgiveness, and all was forgotten, at least as far as speech was concern'd. H and A had a child soon after; and none doubt'd her paternity.